Recently a client said to me that she was worried about what it was going to be like to be around people again – going to parties or even just out to dinner. How would she feel? What should she expect? She felt anxious about being around crowds of people and wasn’t sure about things like indoor dining or going to the gym.
To make matters more challenging, this client had stopped drinking and started her recovery during quarantine. She had found Alcoholics Anonymous, and it worked for her. The only thing is, because in New York State nearly all meetings were shut down and moved to either Zoom or freeconferencecall.com, this woman had never been to an in-person meeting. Her connections to other people in recovery had been exclusively virtual.
As meetings in New York begin to open up and people in general start to expand their activities, I hear more and more people commenting on how both wonderful and weird it is to be back in all the places that make life feel normal again.
How do we go back? What’s the same? What’s different? How are we different? What have we learned? Are there things we want to keep? And things we hope we never see again?
All of these questions and more are going to be part of what I think of as a “reintegration process.” As the U.S. starts to reopen, we will all have to grapple with not only how do we go back to our lives, but both the losses and gains of the time of COVID.
Grief and loss are of course part of this process. So many lives lost, livelihoods upended, businesses closed, celebrations and funerals canceled or rescheduled, isolation endured. And yet, we also hear people talk about changing their priorities, renewing relationships, changing careers, moving, getting married, going back to school. Within the devastation are seeds of hope and possibility.
As we continue to reopen and reunite with our former lives, it is important to stay present to what we are feeling — whatever it may be. To allow ourselves to reflect on who we are now, and who we want to be going forward. And to give it time. Give and take support from your friends and loved ones. Savor the reunions and mourn the losses. Practice exquisite self-care and be open to experiencing all of your feelings. It is only by fully allowing our feelings that we move through them and are able to see what possibilities lie on the other side.